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  • Writer's pictureLaura

Grief Diaries - Gratitude

Updated: Aug 26, 2020

What am I grateful for? Well first and foremost I'm grateful for my Rosie girl. For those precious 2 years, 3 months and 5 days with her. While I wish our time together was longer - it couldn't have been filled with with more love and happiness. Even with all of the heartache and pain that I'm experiencing now in her loss - I would do it all again to have had her in my life.

In the wake of all of this - I have recognized how intrinsically good and caring so many people are in our community and in our lives. Being the recipient of all of this love and support is overwhelming and I wish that myself and Charlie were not in a position to need it all - but I am so incredibly grateful. It has made us not feel alone. From the 3 months of meals being delivered each night, the 100's of cards/gifts/flowers sent to our home, the prayers and love from our parish and school - St. Peter's, the doctors paying extra close care and attention to Rose's case to try and get us some answers, the funeral home director that didn't charge us a penny for all of his services, the packed church at Rosie's funeral mass, the over $56k of donations that were made in her name, the texts/calls/visits/emails from people near and far to provide their condolences, to share a favorite memory of Rose or just to let us know that they're here when we need them, to our jobs who have both been so extremely flexible and understanding under such unique circumstances. For the nun at St. Francis hospital that prayed with us and with Rosie on the morning she passed away and the security guard that consoled Charlie in his toughest moments. And to our Rosie girl who has undoubtedly given us strength to get through each moment - strength we didn't even know that we had.

I mentioned this yesterday, but I'm grateful for my incredible husband, I knew he was special when I married him - but we have gone through more pain together in the last 3 months than some couples go through in a lifetime together. I'm grateful for his love, his patience, his hope, his faith, his sense of humor, his selflessness, his willingness to try anything to make me feel better, his openness to listen and to talk, and the fact that he has stuck by my side (literally and emotionally every day). This is something no parent should ever experience - but if we had to - I'm glad we're doing it together.

I'm so grateful for my family - for their emotional support and their compassion over these last few months. And for their genuine love of Rose. How pained they are really is another testament to how much she touched them all as well. They have literally dropped everything to be of any support to us during this time and without them - we'd be so lost.

Lastly, I'm grateful for the new group of people that I've met - although under horrible circumstances. The facilitator and other parents in our support group, our incredible therapist, the SUDC foundation and Robert's Program staff. Connecting with these people who have experienced a similar loss for themselves has made us feel not so alone. While it's hard to know and to watch other families experience this pain - the connections we've made are priceless and have been instrumental to our healing journey. While I wish I had met them under entirely different circumstances - I'm so grateful for them all.

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