I’ve definitely learned a lot about grief and about myself during these last 3 months. Fortunately, up until this point in my life – I really hadn’t experienced significant grief. Nothing that even comes close to comparing to this. Here are a few of the things that I’ve learned so far…
(1) There is no solve for grief – you really cannot control it and whenever I do try – it just intensifies. In the same light – there really is no “time heals all” applied here. For me it’s actually been the opposite at times – where time makes it harder because the more time that passes by, the longer it has been since she’s been with us.
(2) There is strength in numbers. Being surrounded and supported by people that love and care about you is essential to my grieving process. The power of a community is overwhelming in times like those. It’s especially important to find people that really understand what you’re going through – in my case that’s been my child loss support group friends & SUDC network.
(3) Grief has taught me what’s really important in life and what’s not and has put everything into perspective for me. When it really comes down to it – everything in life is completely out of our control, so no point in stressing the small stuff.
(4) Grief has taught me just how strong I am. Charlie and I both have displayed strength that we didn’t even know existed – both individually and as a couple. Obviously the unimaginable has happened – the absolute worst thing that can happen to anyone. But when you’re faced with that tragedy and it becomes your reality – we didn’t have a choice but to go on. To try each day to put one foot in front of the other. To live our life to the best of our ability (some days that’s better than others) and to try and make Rosie proud in all we do. For me this strength comes from believing that this life is all temporary – I’m living for that eternal life in heaven with Rosie and we know far too well, our cards can be pulled at any moment.
(5) Lastly and most importantly grief has taught me the power of LOVE. My grief is as strong and intense as my love for Rosie is. Without that love for her – there would be no pain. I would take this grief every day for the rest of my life because it meant I had the opportunity to love her and to receive her love back. That love cannot disappear with her physical being. She may not be here with us anymore – but the love will be here every second of every day for the rest of our lives and with that love comes grief. I choose LOVE.