Grief Diaries - Seasons

Updated: Aug 26

Each particular season carries certain memories of Rosie with it, but the two that stick out the most for me are Fall and Summer. Rosie was born on September 14th, 2017 - so the fall reminds me of that night that she was born and the 3 months of maternity leave that I was at home with her. It was such a special time - we were in our new home with our beautiful new baby girl. The weather was perfect most days - so we could be outside a lot with her. We made frequent visits to the Sands Point Preserve - just to walk around and be outside with Rose. When summer ended and Fall approached it was time to celebrate Rosie's birthday and it always brought back special memories around her actual birth. This year in the Fall, Rosie started school which was also such an exciting time for her (and a little nerve wracking for me!) - but another reason why the fall was special.


The summer also brought lots of good memories with Rosie. Lots of walks around the neighborhood, fun trips to the park, weekends at Gigi and JayJay's beach house, lots of time with cousins and lots of time off of work for me and Charlie so the 3 of us were together more. Rose just loved being outside - so summer was her favorite. I can picture her just running around the beach house with no clothes on, just her swim diaper and her wild curly hair. She loved swimming in the pool - specifically standing on the step with a bucket and a shovel pretending to be making us soup. Her presence brought us all so much joy, especially during those summer months out east.


I fear that after Rosie's passing, the Christmas season will never be the same. I'm not quite sure how we will ever be able to fully enjoy that day and the weeks before/after ever again. I hope that we are able to find some new traditions that work for our family and that allow us to appreciate the magic of the season, while also mourning Rosie's loss. I know she would want us to continue to make it special for her future siblings. When I get sad about Christmas - I like to envision Rosie's face during her Christmas in heaven this year. I picture her in complete awe and just wish I could've been there to see it for myself. I already know that every year at Christmastime I want to do something special for Rosie & find ways to give back to the community and to children who don't have the opportunity to experience Christmas in the same way that Rosie would. It's heartbreaking and so horrible, but there has to be some good that can come out of all of this - for our sweet girl.

Rose Elizabeth Foundation

100 Highland Avenue, Port Washington, NY 11050

(516) 455-6844

rosiebeagan@gmail.com